


Mockingbird

by DelilahAndTheUnderdogs



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Enjoy it though, I made his craziness more softer, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Out of Character, Period-Typical Homophobia, Swearing, but ok, mostly Patrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelilahAndTheUnderdogs/pseuds/DelilahAndTheUnderdogs
Summary: Patrick Hockstetter will never admit to himself that he likes boys: he will not because even though he’s a crazy shit, he perceive it as a weakness.[...]Patrick scoffs: “Why are you so afraid of me?” asks the old one with a note of desperation in his voice.“Well, you hurt my boyfriend, you are a crazy piece of shit, you beat the shit out of me in the Barrens”“Damn, you must be right then”





	Mockingbird

 

Just take this longing from my tongue,  
all the useless things my hands have done.  
Let me see your beauty broken down,  
like you would do for one you love. __  
  
-  **Leonard Cohen** , " _Take This Longing_ "

 

 

 

**_Mockingbird_ **

 

 

Patrick Hockstetter will never admit to himself that he likes boys: he will not because even though he’s a crazy shit, he perceive it as a weakness.  
That’s why he ~~_doesn’t_~~ likes Richie Tozier, _Trashmouth Tozier_ : saying that in his mouth has an uncommon pleasure, he likes rolling that nickname in his filthy tongue.  
Even if he doesn’t want to admit it, he surely likes to check out the younger boy body, he likes the way that Richie hair curls up, the way he makes hand gestures, they way he makes laugh people with him rather then at him.  
Patrick hates Richie closeness with Eddie Kaspbrak to death and the day he knew that they got together was filled with rage and bitterness: he gets drunk, usually, just to not to think about Richie kissing and cuddling someone who is obviously not him.  
Henry does like to drag the couple down calling them names and if he does participate with Henry, he dies a little bit inside because he could be him in Eddie’s place.  
He only dare to watch him that _loser_ from far away: he wants to destroy Trashmouth but at the same time he doesn’t want to.  
But that day they are in detention together and Patrick sees pure panic in the little boy eyes: if before it would have been excited to see that in Richie’s eyes, now it’s saddening for him seeing him in this constant fear of him and the gang  
( _let’s say more for him then the gang_ )  
“Why are you looking me like that?”  
“Well … uhm … it’s not the best moment to see you, y’know. I would rather kill myself with an axe then spending an all afternoon here with you”  
Patrick scoffs: “Why are you so afraid of me?” the old one asks with a note of desperation in his voice.  
“Well, you hurt my boyfriend, you are a crazy piece of shit, you beat the shit out of me in the Barrens”  
“Damn, you must be right then”  
“… and, Hockstetter, I don’t even know what are you thinking lately because your quietness scares me, like, a lot”  
Patrick does not know how to reply: he wants to say _maybe I love you even though I don’t know what love is_ or _can I kiss you, Trashmouth?_ but he feels not brave enough to give voice to those thoughts.  
“I just … I just … I just wonder … why not me, Tozier? Why you chose him? Am I not enough handsome to you?” Patrick’s voice is angry but his movements so calm and chill.  
“No way” laughs Richie “No way, I would have never imagined to see this day: Patrick Hockstetter _having a crush on me_. How long though?”  
“Since last year”  
“God damn, and you tormented me just because you like me? Listen, that wasn’t the best way to show it and also not the most healthy one”  
“How could I showed you? Everyone would have screamed homo all over me”  
“You? You caring what people says? You who does not give a fuck about what people says? Don’t make me laugh again, please”  
A door slam behind them: it’s the history teacher, Mr. Nelson who say them that they will study together until the end of the year and that they will make a project about World War II and stuff like that.  
While Richie was in completely disbelief and feeling horrified, Patrick smirked widely feeling like the most lucky man on Earth. 


End file.
